Up until 2 weeks ago all I could think about was the marathon, and now to be honest, I could care less. I used to wake up in the middle of the night thinking of something that I needed to pack, or a race detail that I wanted to look up.
Or in a panic that I missed the race, or showed up at the wrong race.
I’m certainly not complaining about sleeping through the night, but I wish I felt a little excitement.
While the break from the over analyzing everything has been much welcomed, there is the reality that, I’m not excited for this marathon.
I’m not nervous either.
I’m indifferent.
I’ve been trying to psyche myself up for it, but I can’t.
I’ve been reading other bloggers marathon re-caps, and while they pump me up for a few minutes the desired effect is short-lived.
All the while I’ve remained positive and haven’t stressed out (I’m considering it a victory of sorts that I’m not stressing about not being stressed out).
This could benefit me. Maybe the lack of excitement will help me stay calm at the start and I won’t go out to fast. There’s the possibility it’ll keep me from getting ultra-competitive with myself. Perhaps it’ll keep me from over analyzing ever small detail, which will keep me relaxed and less stressed.
Wouldn’t it be cool if this cool as a cucumber attitude was matched with 8 9 minute miles across the board?!
But…of course there is a but.
My marathon training hasn’t gone exactly as planned the last month.
In an effort to stick with the positive attitude let’s just say I’m really good at tapering.
I ran a whopping 7 miles this week. My left hamstring isn’t in good shape, it sore. Some days it feels fine and doesn’t bother me, other days I’ll get shooting pains while sitting still or lying in bed.
I wouldn’t describe it as tight, but nagging. It’s tolerable but does a number of my mental state.
Monday morning I met Ali for a 4 mile run. We chatted and the miles flew by, my legs still felt like lead, but it didn’t feel as though I had to put in too much effort to propel myself forward.
Tuesday morning I set off for 6 miles, but didn’t make it too far before my hamstring acted up. I headed home and spent the time reserved for running devoted to the foam roller instead.
While at work Tuesday afternoon I got a horrible cramp in the right calf that didn’t go away until Thursday/Friday.
Awesome.
Saturday morning I took off for the recommended 8 mile run, I got a mile and a half in before turning around due to hamstring pain. I debated finishing the run just to prove I can do it, but in the end decided it wasn’t worth it.
I didn’t want to be out there running. I’m tired of pushing myself to run.
So I turned around and went home.
I was stressing myself out as to whether or not I’d be able to run the marathon. The run was turning ugly fast.
I distracted myself from dealing with this reality all weekend. After the failed run on Saturday I got ready, threw clothes in a bag and high tailed it up to Maine for a friend’s wedding. I spent the afternoon and evening dancing and ignoring the pain in my hamstring. Sunday I went to brunch, then went and met a couple of rescue dogs before heading home.
Last night I finally admitted to myself that 26.2 miles might not happen this week. I’m still preparing this week as though I will run the marathon.
And I absolutely will run this weekend, it just might be the 13.1 distance instead.
I ran 4 miles yesterday morning, it was a good run, after 10 minutes my leg loosened up. I’m hoping for the same result on Sunday.
My training schedule calls for a 2 and 3 mile run, I’d like to keep to that schedule but we’ll see. I’m going to add a couple of yoga classes as well as lots of foam rolling and icing.
That’s where I stand 5 days before my first attempt at running a marathon.
Not exactly where I wanted to be, but standing none the less.
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